my boss is making me go back to KL by tomoro.. for good.. i cannot do anything about it. actually suppose to go back yesterday but tipu-ed them and said that my mum is staying till tuesday so they said, ok go back together wif ur mum. tell me if i should be mad la. last time, they told me i was going to go to work in jakarta, in december 2004. i finally left for jakarta on the 8th of august, with 4 days notice. then, they tell me its only gonna be 3-6 months. then it was 6-12 months. then it was indefinite. after that, they told me they want me to set up an indon opis so i will be heading it. so another one year to go. i was told that bit of information in february. ok fine. so i might as well get comfortable cos i was gonna stay. i bought a blender, i bought a new DVD player cos the old one konked, i bought so many new crockeries cos there wasn't enuff. then, suddenly, i was told that i have to go home. they mentioned it a couple of weeks before i was due to go back. but we were negotiating that maybe rohaya could go home. then they decided, no. i have to go home and it was confirmed, 4 days before i am due back in KL. thanks alot la..
i am so upset la. my poor renan will be alone here and he has been so depressed ever since i mentioned this to him. our plan still stands. we're getting married in august. so now, i have to plan. i will try to get a job in jakarta. renan is not ready to leave his kids. he tot i was gonna be here till at least feb/mar next year so that'll leave him plenty of time to inform his kids that he wil be leaving them and that he will come and visit them as often as possible. but to just leave them now, he tak sampai hati. i totally understand. so if i have to quit my job and move there for awhile to be wif my husband. i will. i will do anything to be wif him. my goal in life is not to have a fantastic career or make so much of money. its to make sure my family is well taken care of and that we're happy. so yes i will quit my job soon. i dunno when. if i don't find an appropriate job in jkt, as long as renan can help me wif my bills in KL, i will drop everything here and go there. meanwhile he will prepare his kids for his leave and we will try to find a really good job for him in KL so we can come back to KL as soon as possible. he said give him at least 6 months to do that.
i know this is all dugaan. nothing good comes easily. everyone knows that. so we have to be patient and strong. both of us. i am just so glad i got plenty of great frens like u guys to help me get through this. but i really feel so sad for him, cos he doesn't have anyone like any of u guys to talk to about this whole thing. yes, he has his mum and family. but still. its different. so terpaksa la aku layan his paranoia, his insecurites while we're apart. he's so afraid that he will lose me during these hard times. i haven't been able to say such things about my partner in a long long time. so bottom line is, i'm so lucky to have him. and i will never do anything to hurt him or ruin wat we already have. 
